Tomorrow is the second anniversary of my best friend John Burke's passing. I remember thinking two years ago we're 53 and we were born in 1953. What does that mean? Now I know. John died on Toni and my 13th wedding anniversary. 13 years to the day he was our best man.
John was just the funniest person I ever met. He always had the funniest stories about disasters that happen to him. You'd tell him a story about something stupid that happen to you and he could always top it. He had this great laugh that would burst out from him. From the first day I met him in freshman religion class in high school in 1968 he was just my best friend. He was always so kind to everyone and he felt things so deeply.
For selfish reasons it was so hard to lose him. He knew all my life stories because he had been there with me for most of them. We had a million inside jokes that would crack us up with just a phrase or a look.Now there's no one but me who remembers those great times.
I didn't see him much of John the last years and I would get so angry because he wouldn't stay in touch. I still wanted him to be a part of everything. After he passed I spoke to his other friends from high school. They hadn't seen him either. He refused most of their invitations. In someway I was relived. It wasn't just me.
Maybe this was universe ways of starting the separation from him.
It didn't work, it didn't make it any easier. I felt cheated by his passing. I thought we'd have more time. I believed that after his mother passed away Toni & I would see more of him and that he would spend holidays & vacations with us. I think someday he probably would have moved to Wurtsboro to be closer to us. He loved to be up here.
A small comfort was that he passed so quickly. Seven weeks from being diagnosed with cancer to his death. He suffered and was scared, but he got to see all his family and friends and he knew he was loved.He will never have to grow old and suffer the pains and indignation's of old age. My prayer is that he is with his God whom he served, loved and trusted in.
I pray for him every night and I talk to him all the time. He will always be with me.
John, remember the prom shoes and the tent in Cape Cod? "I want to live, I want to give" - Lucky Strike 1971
